Micro-cheating relationship betrayal or polyamory

Nearly all dramas are filled with secret lies and betrayals. They sell books and make movies popular. An Australian psychologist coined a term micro-cheating as any relationship that may be mildly flirtatious or even as sending a romantic emoji or gif to someone online.

Melanie Schilling, an Australian psychologist, claims this type of behavior isn’t as innocent as you may think. It might be akin to emotional betrayal. The term “micro-cheating” is supposed to serve as an umbrella term for all of the little ways both emotionally and/or physically that you can be unfaithful to your partner.

As a psychologist, Schilling also considers herself a dating expert. In her perspective and view micro-cheating is defined as a series of small actions and/or thoughts that indicate a person’s interest or focus outside their prime relationship.

If micro-cheating made it to the Diagnostic Statistic Manual or some social or legal venue, micro-cheating has a list of symptoms:

1. Lying about your relationship status to attractive-looking strangers.

2. ‘Liking’ Instagram photos of attractive people way too often.

3. Casually flirting with colleagues at work.

4. Never refusing anyone who offers to buy you a drink.

5. Keeping regular touch with exes and frequently meeting them for drinks.

6. Making jokes about dating/hooking-up with someone.

In a “me too” era where dozens of influential people lose jobs and status from allegations of forms of negative behavior in work or off-work relationships. These allegations depict a variety of behaviors.

Yet, the media is filled with stories about twisted relationships, affairs, and betrayals. In literature, it goes back a few hundred years. Thousands of years if you include the pld testament of the Bible. That “You shall not commit adultery” managed to make it into the 10 commandments sends hints that relationship cheating and betrayals might have been pervasive problems.

In contrast, there are those that favor polyamory. Polyamory is a philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time. In a polyamorous relationship each partner kind of knows that one or the other may have other partners with no prime commitments. All partners do this consensually so betrayal is not an issue.

The difficulties that discussing an anecdotal term like micro-cheating is that casual or friendships or acquaintances are now questionable. Maintaining close relationships is often difficult. The courts, jails, and psychotherapy couches are active and filled with effects of disaffection within a relationship.

Spread by the media, and with open-access to social media, micro-cheating is entering jargon and thoughts of a young generation trying to establish roots. It is yet another delicate tight-string to provoke thoughts of cheating and betrayal in otherwise stable, loving relationships.

It is sad that romantic and pure love is meeting needless tensions. As sexuality types of all situations are finding voice and equality, adding micro-cheating as a pseudo-psychology term is just another waste of time and emotion.

I can only think of a Tina Turner lyric:
What’s love got to do, got to do with it
What’s love but a second hand emotion
What’s love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken

And the introduction of micro-cheating may make heart breaks easier. Is micro-cheating okay? Will it just be a passing fad?